The Art of Missing

Description as given by a friend

Missing somebody is not a new thing. Sometimes it is nice to miss and be missed. Makes the meeting worthwhile and more sweeter. May be these are the wise thoughts I should be thinking while my loved one goes away. Giving all sweet memories and wonderful moments and taking my heart away…..

Uh oh!...am I in the line of writing a good sentimental novel enough for you to reach out for the towel? Then I do not know what  more to write because what I feel for him is not just missing  fashionably, it is stretching my heart a little more to feel big enough to make myself happy until I see him next. It is a mature feeling of understanding ,control and lesser tears and making the smile less fake.

 I have felt amazing sense of love from him. Not because I want to fill the void, because I want a life with him. Seriously. Yes there are dreams. Passionate dreams. Immature dreams. Puppy love dreams. Family dreams. Dreams in different locations. Practical dreams and impractical too. The only thing common being , I want to live them all and try to fulfill them with just him.

Not-been-there?...Good for u!

A place is tested ok not just by its SLR captured landscapes, but by the feelings and assumptions we associate with it. I liked London, am bowled over by Las Vegas, fascinated by Australia, dream of Switzerland, yearn to go to Hawaii, detest Pakistan, neutral about Bangladesh and I love India. Mind you, I’ve never been to any of the above places falling between the London to India route. So why did I described those places like I did?

Every country has its share of scenic beauty (sadly some of them do not get the Nat Geog awards), bad politics, infamous ambassadors, latitudes and longitudes of unclean streets, racism, unsafe areas.etc. Despite this, we nod our heads to ‘Most wanted places’ recommended by SOTC and Thomas Cook tours and roll up our sleeves and wrinkle our noses at the mention of any place ending with ‘tan’.

The Press has ‘impressed’ our rationalism ever since the ubiquitous Malyalee nurse placed us next to our mothers. Probably the first lines we may have heard after being born is the doctor telling our mothers is ‘According to our reporters you have had a healthy baby!’

We tend to believe whatever the breaking news flashes to us. That’s where we come from. We hear (mostly don’t listen), watch (hardly see), assume (never rationalize) and wham, bam! we speak and opinionate of places as we are auditioning for some Travel and Living show!!

It’s healthy to love and be passionate about your country, have a fav place to fill in some slam book and have dry/witty/sarcastic humor about places where the people have the same oil for cooking and for the head! And I’m not indicating the oil rich ‘Gelf’ . But let’s not hold fast to mindless assumptions and rumours about a different land even before the Visa is in hand!

Don on your benny cap, zoom your mind 10X to what experiences an alien country can give you.There’s a saying, ‘Be virgin when you travel!’ and it applies to all breeds, the been-theres and have -not- been –theres.

Spiritual banking

Banking is the latest industry hit by the spiritual bug. Global FIs are now gearing up to launch products aimed at the religiously inclined consumer.

So what exactly is spiritual banking? It is basically a blend of trading, banking and securities exchange based on spiritual currency called Karma. Customers can accumulate Karma based on the good deeds that they do, which is credited to their account by a certified Karmic accountant. The Karmic exchange rate is a floating rate based on the exchange rate prevailing on the day Karma is deposited in a bank.
Guys with negative Karma will try and pull this rate down, while others will try and push the rates north. Karma can be freely traded subject to the condition that the currency has been stored in the customer’s account for atleast an year. All good deeds committed without selfish motives and with unbound goodwill qualify for Karmic investment. The customer must be able to convince the Karmic auditor about the genuineness of his or her claim and support it with relevant evidence.

Potential customers are extremely excited by the move. “I have been running an airline and wooing my girl for over a year now. I haven’t earned a penny in both deals and this is the time to encash all the good that I have been doing,” says Mess Wadia. According to Puppy Lahiri, “i haven’t brought out any albums in the last two years and have spared people from needless cacophony and this should alone make me a Karmic millionaire”.
Eye Bee Yen editor Rajcreep goes one step ahead and says “this was in the works for too long and we need to implement this soon. We need to become more morally conscious and spiritually cognizant. I mean just look at the type of breaking news that news channels are flaunting these days. The other day one channel claimed that someone from the opposition had stolen the PM’s pyjammas. The society needs to cleanse itself and this move has come at the right time”, he says.

Others however are not so excited. “Will what i say on my blog be considered as a negative karma? If so I don’t believe in all this,” says actor Amir Khan. Him-mesh Race-mia is equally apprehensive when he says “if this takes off, I will have to quit acting and singing and go back to my old job of being a watchman and that’s gonna be tough..”

Whatever the apprehensions, spiritual banking is here to stay. Hope the banking software vendors are listening.

Noise of India contest

The noise of India contest

The setting- one of India’s top dhabbhas, the judges- unwanted pests and the contestants-Crème-de-la-cottage cheese of Indian politics. Politicians, cutting across party lines, gathered for the first ever Scaretelll ‘Noise of India’ contest, a clash of wits, singing abilities and talents. Did it turn out the way the organizers wanted? What went wrong? Find out.

The contestants arrived quite early and were seen practicing their songs in front of mirrors, fellow party men and even stray dogs that had unwittingly landed up. Each ‘neta’ wanted to outdo the other and camaraderie was the last thing on their minds. By 10, the ‘distinguished’ judges arrived, starting with Puppy Lahiri, who seemed to have just reached after ransacking a jewelry store. Jawed Akthar followed, clothed humbly and as usual, had a couple of couplets for the media folks. Mahesh Rutt, the third judge, announced his new movie, on the spot. “The script will be finalized after I finish shooting,” he claimed.

The first contestant, Devil Gowda walked on to stage, waving frantically at the audience and fell asleep, before reaching the microphone. He was taken away in a stretcher and a not so enthusiastic Amar Sing followed. He sang few lines praising his big brother Amitabh Bachpan and waited anxiously for the judges’ response. “You have killed the song, my friend. It seems like you have no knowledge of verse and rhythm and I wouldn’t even cast you in any of my movies”, said Mahesh Rut. Tears started rolling down Amar Sing’s cheeks and he was inconsolable and was taken away from the podium.

Prakash Karat followed with a song praising our eastern neighbor. He was pelted with low-cal eggs and booed off stage. Next up- the irrepressible Lallo. He came, looked at the judges and sang his rendition of Hotel California... As he finished the song, Jawed literally pounced on him. “Do you even know the meaning of the song? How dare you ruin such meaningful lyrics and sing in such an out-of-tune manner? I cannot give you any marks, please go away. A grumbling Lallo was heard mumbling “wait till you travel by my train, I will ensure that you will have the ride of your life”.

Shotgun Sinha was the next contestant, who performed his take on ‘mere angane me tumhaara kya kaam hai’. This time it was Puppy Lahiri’s turn to insult the contestant. “Is this a song? What have you sung? “itna bad toh mera doggie bhi nahi sing kareghiii(even my dog an sing better), he said” Shotgun was furious and didn’t wait for Puppy to finish to start exchanging pleasantries. “Abhey paneer ki dukhan, ruee key goddam (cottage cheese store and cotton warehouse), what do you know about music other than plagiarizing tunes from foreign numbers? And you have parked your stadium-sized bottom there as a judge," shot gun said. How dare you insult me, I will go high court, I will go to supreme court," thundered Puppy. "Go to a food court first, like you always do," replied shotgun.

Mahesh Rutt tried to intervene, by when all the other contestants had gathered. Seizing the opportunity, Shotgun ran, pounced on Puppy and started raining blows left and right. Puppy collapsed on the podium, which gave way under the weight of the big dude and his jewels. The entire bunch is now recovering at a Bandra hospital.

So you want to be a superhero? Think again!

Most of us have grown up idolizing superheroes. Guys like Superman, Spiderman and others were always in a league of extraordinary folks who fight all that is wrong with powers to kill for. But are they really as invulnerable as they seem?

An oft concealed aspect of our superheroes is their personal lives. Most of these uniformed crusaders have a sad/tragic personal life behind them and it almost seems like their respective alter egos offer a chance to escape from it all. Take Spiderman for instance. In spite of having powers for a good length of time, the dude is yet to come to terms with his transformation from a normal college dude to spidey. His best friend hates Spiderman and holds him responsible for his dad’s death. Spidey is also unable to understand his relationship with MJ and seems to be suffering from a mild bout of schizophrenia.

For superman, the world is his enemy. A failed and wavering relationship with his girlfriend and lack of true friends form the core of his not so super existence. He doesn’t have any real buddies and all his relationships revolve around his status as the man of steel. He seems to be overburdened with his stretched role and probably wants to leave it all, and settle down with Miss. Lane, if the world weren’t so demanding.

Batman is constantly weighed down by a sense of remorse for not being able to save his parents during his childhood. He is often seen sitting around the fireplace trying to figure things out on gloomy evenings. Though he fights for peace in Gotham city, he is unable to find this elixir within himself. He is unable to see his reflection in a mirror for fear of being swamped by a cluster of negative emotions. Unlike spidey and suppie, batty’s sorrows are more apparent since he operates only in the graveyard shift and his thoughts are often amplified for the audience to hear and react.

Phantom, Mandrake and He man also share similar problems. Superhero psychologist Dr. Hammerschmidst feels that the superdudes are reeling under the increasing load of pressure exerted by us. “At the end of the day, these people are also human – they are also hurt, feel pain and need a bit of understanding from us. That’s the least that we can do for them,” he says.

So next time you feel the urge to don a cape, wear your langot on the outside, jump from tall buildings and fight crime, just pause for a moment and think. The world seems to be quite at ease with the phony superheroes pixelating our television and motion picture screens. Unfortunately, the world is not yet ready for you…

Treez: The case about welcome

Treez: The case about welcome

anybody game to stop and smell roses ?

Ths is in hurry. jus hav 10 mins.gotta get up n run to brush.also hav 2 boil milk for coffee.brkfast?...nope. wl hav brunch n read paper too then. hv to mk sm calls,wl do on the way to office.wat day 2day?nybody's bday?..wl hav 2 c diary.wl do tht wen the pest nxt cubicle cms to say gmorning.cnt he jus say it on office chat?oh mayb even he noticed it takes 5 secs to open..damn it! paper?bah!..wats e-paper 4?wl cal parents nxt sun,spouse nxt mon n old frens nxt mnth.........k this took 3 mins,wt the short-cuts !! gotta go 4 race,oops office!